Papercut update

2013 paper cut count: 0

2014 paper cut count: 1

Damn.

Career driven?

I spend a great deal of my life looking at what's next.  Every time I look at a job I fancy, I have to demonstrate my appropriateness for the job using my past experience.  Now, I don't know about you, but that's sort of the opposite of what I want in life.  Every time I look at my CV, it reads as a list of things I never want to do again.

Career prospects would be more interesting if I could just say, Hey! That sounds like an awesome job. I'm pretty awesome,  Sounds like a match made in heaven, eh?

My thought of the day...

They're waffly versatile

Let's dance

Well, that was a blast.  2013 brought exciting new job roles, a handful of so-so rares, including golden oriole (Lundy), Short-toed Lark (Dawlish Warren), Bluethroat (Portland) and Roller (Broxhead Common)... Oh and a Brünnich's Guillemot  (back at Portland) as a belated Christmas present.  

But mostly, a lot of dancing and silliness happened over the last 12 months.  My favourite time to exercise has always been tomorrow, but every day, now, I can't wait to get my groove on (and, with luck, some calories off).

To be fair, dancing was my last option.  When I tried to sign up to the aerobics class,they told me to wear loose clothing...The only reason I was joining is that none of my clothes are loose anymore.  

From now on, there is no 'exercise', just fun.  After all, I'm not fat, I'm just being the bigger person.

Dear Santa, Let me explain....

It all went to sh*t when I found out that the hokey cokey really is what it's all about... Now I have to learn the moves... It's not even on wii just dance.

To be honest, I've probably not been a particularly good girl, this year.  I've spent too much, eaten too much and slept more than I should.
On the other hand, I've spent a lot of time correcting grammar and punctuation and writing some fabulous social media site bios... 

turns out I'm really interesting when I can make it all up.
I've spent a lot of time reviewing want I want from life and cleansing my facebook friend list.  There are many people prepared to tell you that you're hard work... they don't like it when you tell them maybe it's them that's just not up to the job. 

And as an early christmas gift to you...The song The Final Countdown will now lodge itself in your head...


You're welcome.

Hakuna matata xx

The papercut survival guide for young(ish) women

It's been a long summer with study taking up most of my spare time, but I have also found time to stare at walls trying to think of funny things to tweet. 

In fact, it's amazing how much time I need to spend working on my online persona when there's an assignment to be written (or housework to be done, for that matter).

Possibly the scariest thing about 'studying' is the number of times I've listened to Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend' over the last month.  But there's also the discovery that I still have Aqua's 'Barbie Girl' on my mp3 player (sorry, apple, I'm always going to be a Sony whore]. 

2013 so far:

Barbie girl plays: (86)

Times my dirty mind has got me into trouble: (0)

Times my dirty mouth has got me in to trouble: (7)

Funny cat videos watched on YouTube: (4) 

Evenings spent reading old tweets and congratulating self on sparkling wit: (97)

Papercuts: (0) 

It has been a good year, so far.

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OK, here's your challenge.  If you complete it, let me know and give me a challenge in return.

This weekend, share the joy.   Run up to strangers on the street, tap them on the shoulder and yell "You're It!" before running away.

Keeping busy...

There's nothing I enjoy more than running around in circles, stomping in puddles in the sunshine after the rain.

Actually, that's a lie - Because, after all, there are bubbles and ice cream and burning things and building things.  Damn - there are a LOT of things I like more than running around....  

But still, it seems that most of my time, these days, is spent in completing bios for web sites and social networking stuff, trying to make myself sound funny or interesting or just plain weird enough that someone might pay attention long enough to read my posts... If only I had enough time left over from writing bios to actually post something worth reading.  And yet, here you are reading my post.  Haven't you anything better to be doing? There are plenty of puddle out there to jump in!

Bios aside, recent years have been well spent...more or less.  I can now text on my htc without looking.  It only took 18 months... Just in time for an upgrade.

I have also learned that you CAN run away from your problems... if you're fat.  Keep running and your problem will go away.

Right, must go - I have some websites to sign up to and I haven't decided who I'm going to be, yet.

Hakuna matata   xx

You're up late...

Did you mean to be on my page or were you googling Dinosaur Dancing again?

Of course you could have been using bing as a search engine.  But somehow I doubt it.

So anyway, I promised another fact about me and have failed to deliver upon that point.  I'm pretty sure you've not got this far without knowing of my love of socks.  If you have, then you may not be prepared for the fullness of me that follows I suggest a stiff drink before you read any more of my posts...

Well, I live in Devon, in a little seaside town and share my garden with a rabbit, called Compost.

Things I have learned since having a pet rabbit.

• Rabbits are not affectionate.

Actually, that's about it.  But he's a rubbish pet.  Seriously - I have TRIED to train him, but much less than allowing me to pick him up, he refuses to:

• fetch a stick
• roll over
• chase a ball
• go and get its leash and wait to be taken for a walk.

 If you want something kinda cute that moves around like it's slightly damaged, then a rabbit is great.  If you actually want something that's pleased to see you, is expressive and thinks you're the best thing in the world EVER you may be better off with a dog

Keeping it simple

Yes, I know what you're thinking... ANOTHER blog post, Debs?  So soon??

Well, lots has happened in the last 6 months and I don't want you to think I've forgotten you :D

So living in Devon is pretty damned fine and dandy although I have recently been picked up on my lack of commitment to any one accent.  Which is pretty harsh, since I got the **** kicked out of me when I first moved here, from Hampshire, for being 'too posh'.  Anti-elocution followed pretty quickly and now I have no accent of my own... What does one do about that??

I think my varying speech patterns may also be affected by the work I do.

Some of you may already know that my job requires me to work with young people... Youth work jobs often do.

It's not a bad job - I have a lot of fun with the groups I work with but just sometimes they tell me things that leave me reeling and scared for the future of this planet.

The most recent gem came this week, when one of my young people told me that I should stay away from "that 'organic' crap.  Do you know they use loads of chemicals to make it more pure?"  Well, that conversation lasted a lot longer than it should have and I don't think he got the idea, anyway :(

But the scariest and most scarring opinion has to be that God must be real because that stuff with the dinosaurs is too complicated.  Just.... Wow.

Puddles and Bubbles

And so age crept up on me slowly.  I didn’t see it coming.  Then one day I was 33, overweight and scared of the increasing number of years I hoped to clock up.

I made the usual decision.  I’ll get fit.  I hated the gym – puffing away on the machines whilst streamlined goddesses ran and chatted with ease next to me.  Sod that for a barrel of laughs.  Running?  Too…. visible.

So…. Dancing!  Yes!  It’s so obvious.  Dancing is the way to go.  So this chunky mid-30s woman attempted street dance.

A few steps in and all was going well.  

Then I attempted cranking...

It turns out MY milkshake only brings paramedics to the yard and they’re like: She’s having a fit.  Damned right, I’m having a fit.  Otherwise I have to admit that I thought street dance was suitable for someone of my age and that yes; that really is how I dance.

Now it’s time to revisit the whole idea.  Getting out in the fresh air and volunteering with an environmental charity is my plan… Let’s just hope their idea of team building activities for their volunteers isn’t dancing.

Or perhaps I should just stick to jumping in puddles and blowing bubbles.  Two things that always make me smile.