The papercut survival guide for young(ish) women

It's been a long summer with study taking up most of my spare time, but I have also found time to stare at walls trying to think of funny things to tweet. 

In fact, it's amazing how much time I need to spend working on my online persona when there's an assignment to be written (or housework to be done, for that matter).

Possibly the scariest thing about 'studying' is the number of times I've listened to Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend' over the last month.  But there's also the discovery that I still have Aqua's 'Barbie Girl' on my mp3 player (sorry, apple, I'm always going to be a Sony whore]. 

2013 so far:

Barbie girl plays: (86)

Times my dirty mind has got me into trouble: (0)

Times my dirty mouth has got me in to trouble: (7)

Funny cat videos watched on YouTube: (4) 

Evenings spent reading old tweets and congratulating self on sparkling wit: (97)

Papercuts: (0) 

It has been a good year, so far.

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OK, here's your challenge.  If you complete it, let me know and give me a challenge in return.

This weekend, share the joy.   Run up to strangers on the street, tap them on the shoulder and yell "You're It!" before running away.

Keeping busy...

There's nothing I enjoy more than running around in circles, stomping in puddles in the sunshine after the rain.

Actually, that's a lie - Because, after all, there are bubbles and ice cream and burning things and building things.  Damn - there are a LOT of things I like more than running around....  

But still, it seems that most of my time, these days, is spent in completing bios for web sites and social networking stuff, trying to make myself sound funny or interesting or just plain weird enough that someone might pay attention long enough to read my posts... If only I had enough time left over from writing bios to actually post something worth reading.  And yet, here you are reading my post.  Haven't you anything better to be doing? There are plenty of puddle out there to jump in!

Bios aside, recent years have been well spent...more or less.  I can now text on my htc without looking.  It only took 18 months... Just in time for an upgrade.

I have also learned that you CAN run away from your problems... if you're fat.  Keep running and your problem will go away.

Right, must go - I have some websites to sign up to and I haven't decided who I'm going to be, yet.

Hakuna matata   xx

You're up late...

Did you mean to be on my page or were you googling Dinosaur Dancing again?

Of course you could have been using bing as a search engine.  But somehow I doubt it.

So anyway, I promised another fact about me and have failed to deliver upon that point.  I'm pretty sure you've not got this far without knowing of my love of socks.  If you have, then you may not be prepared for the fullness of me that follows I suggest a stiff drink before you read any more of my posts...

Well, I live in Devon, in a little seaside town and share my garden with a rabbit, called Compost.

Things I have learned since having a pet rabbit.

• Rabbits are not affectionate.

Actually, that's about it.  But he's a rubbish pet.  Seriously - I have TRIED to train him, but much less than allowing me to pick him up, he refuses to:

• fetch a stick
• roll over
• chase a ball
• go and get its leash and wait to be taken for a walk.

 If you want something kinda cute that moves around like it's slightly damaged, then a rabbit is great.  If you actually want something that's pleased to see you, is expressive and thinks you're the best thing in the world EVER you may be better off with a dog

Keeping it simple

Yes, I know what you're thinking... ANOTHER blog post, Debs?  So soon??

Well, lots has happened in the last 6 months and I don't want you to think I've forgotten you :D

So living in Devon is pretty damned fine and dandy although I have recently been picked up on my lack of commitment to any one accent.  Which is pretty harsh, since I got the **** kicked out of me when I first moved here, from Hampshire, for being 'too posh'.  Anti-elocution followed pretty quickly and now I have no accent of my own... What does one do about that??

I think my varying speech patterns may also be affected by the work I do.

Some of you may already know that my job requires me to work with young people... Youth work jobs often do.

It's not a bad job - I have a lot of fun with the groups I work with but just sometimes they tell me things that leave me reeling and scared for the future of this planet.

The most recent gem came this week, when one of my young people told me that I should stay away from "that 'organic' crap.  Do you know they use loads of chemicals to make it more pure?"  Well, that conversation lasted a lot longer than it should have and I don't think he got the idea, anyway :(

But the scariest and most scarring opinion has to be that God must be real because that stuff with the dinosaurs is too complicated.  Just.... Wow.

Puddles and Bubbles

And so age crept up on me slowly.  I didn’t see it coming.  Then one day I was 33, overweight and scared of the increasing number of years I hoped to clock up.

I made the usual decision.  I’ll get fit.  I hated the gym – puffing away on the machines whilst streamlined goddesses ran and chatted with ease next to me.  Sod that for a barrel of laughs.  Running?  Too…. visible.

So…. Dancing!  Yes!  It’s so obvious.  Dancing is the way to go.  So this chunky mid-30s woman attempted street dance.

A few steps in and all was going well.  

Then I attempted cranking...

It turns out MY milkshake only brings paramedics to the yard and they’re like: She’s having a fit.  Damned right, I’m having a fit.  Otherwise I have to admit that I thought street dance was suitable for someone of my age and that yes; that really is how I dance.

Now it’s time to revisit the whole idea.  Getting out in the fresh air and volunteering with an environmental charity is my plan… Let’s just hope their idea of team building activities for their volunteers isn’t dancing.

Or perhaps I should just stick to jumping in puddles and blowing bubbles.  Two things that always make me smile.

Should you be here?

Were you looking for proof that unicorns can fly?  Then there's a chance you're lost.

Now, I think you know me well enough to guess that I'm a cancerian with virgo rising.  Oh, OK, you got me - I'm a  leo-cusp-born cancerian.  How did you know? Oh, my hatred of people and superstitious nonsense....  Ha, you've got my number.

My horror-scope from horoscope.com...

"A selfish attitude on your part won't be tolerated today"

Oh, really?  Cos usually it's encouraged...

"Don't make it worse for yourself by pretending that you don't notice others' hurt feelings." 

Worse?  Everyone already thinks I'm selfish.... how is being selfish going to make that worse?

"People are likely to be extra sensitive today"

Is that because that selfish bitch isn't noticing their hurt feelings?

"be careful about trying to impose your will on someone who really wants nothing more than an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on."

Oh, jeez, I haven't even written a will, now people want to cry about it?

Well, that was different to EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.

Still, I'm doing better than aquarius - They're being told "Don't get into the habit of constantly judging the quality or outcome of your work"

... at least I'll still have a job.  Is that selfish??

More about me...

It's all rather self-indulgent, isn't it, this personal blog thing?

Anyway, I hear the cries of anguish as I have not kept my promise to share more information about myself...  Well, it's hard to know what's interesting about yourself.  I guess some people are more comfortable shouting about their fabulousness than others... not that it makes either type opf person more or less fabulous.

Well, last month, my Aussie friend, David, and I set up a league of superheroes.  We are The Hoppingly Dull League of America (for tax reasons).  We are based in Jersey (for tax reasons). Neither of us has any real understanding of these tax reasons, but you can like the league here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Hoppingly-Dull-League-of-America/344544842229881?sk=info  

But I don't know why you would.

Still, join us, choose your superpower and add the league to your employers list on facebook, if you dare.

A Weekend Not Wasted

I'm so proud of myself. I finished a jigsaw in 3 days and the box says 5 - 8 years. Yay me! I can go to bed, happy, now. 

Well, this weekend was supposed to be spent studying.  It has not exactly gone to plan.  But I have spent it in the company of intelligent, funny people.  That's far preferable to the plan.

However, I have finally been getting professional supervision for my degree placement.  It's rather enlightening but a bit scary to realise how I approach situations and the judgements I make.

I am now living by that old idiom:

Never judge a book by its cover... 

Use the text on the back; it tells you what the book is about.

Music-y Goodness

This weekend, I have mostly been listening to:

Sarah Slean,   

Skunk Anansie

and 

Transvision Vamp

It's all about me....

Well, you've either been following my blog for some time or you've got here by accident after googling Pink Fluffy Cat Film.  Actually, if the latter is true, you should move on, there's nothing for you here.

So you'll be wanting to know more about me....

Sadly, despite the promises in my last post, I have not invented anything exciting... but I have made a few awesome sandwiches in my time... I'll make you one next time you visit.

So... a fact about me....

I like yoghurt coated peanuts and stripes.  These are mutually exclusive likes.  But if you ever find any striped youghurt coated peanuts, I'll give them a go.

Well, one fact is probably enough for today.  I'll share another one soon.  It won't be long before you know all there is to know.  Except that thing about the bicycle pump and the superglue.